Day 1

The only thing worse than talking is not talking. I don't know how people just walk around all day, keeping everything they think and feel just rattling around in their head. I've only been doing it for a day and it's unsettling and makes me want to vomit it all- literally and figuratively.

I guess that's why I write.

Or at least I used to.

Back when things were simpler. Someone would say, "Write this" and I did. But now it's all Speadsheets and hypertargeted bullshit and this is what's gonna be expected of you, at your job.

But I don't want a job.

I want to write.

And I don't know if you can do something you love as a career. I think it takes the passion. And I don't want to end up resenting the thing that I've loved for my entire life. The thing that was there for me when nothing- and no one- else was.

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed". 

But how can I write if I don't have anything to write about? If I don't do anything?

I guess I have to change that, don't I?